Today, one of my best friends is getting married in Dallas. Her soon-to-be husband is fantastic, she’s going to be beautiful (I’ve seen the dress on her, so trust me on this), and pretty much all of my friends will be there.
But I won’t.
Outrageous prices from a tiny airport, 3 layovers in route, complex logistics, and a microscopic amount of time spent in the final destination meant I just couldn’t figure out how to make it work.
That’s hands down the worst part about traveling. You miss big things like weddings, but you also miss little things.
You miss hugging your friend when you get to the single digit wedding countdown. You miss manicures together during your lunch hour and gossip about new restaurant openings in town. You miss good hair days and new shoe purchases.
You miss birthday parties and girls night in and the joy of cards in your mailbox. You miss engagements and babies being born and morning Starbucks runs. You miss the people that you love.
It’s a big trade off. I miss the little things that make up the lives of the people that I love, and in return, I get to live the life I love. It’s a complicated feeling that’s tough to explain, and it makes some days bittersweet. Sometimes I feel guilty for having those days when I’m living my dream in some incredible places. But that doesn’t mean I’m exempt from feeling sadness. It also doesn’t mean that some days I don’t want to pack up my shit, get on a plane, and go home, not that I even know where that is anymore.
The point is, even though I’m living the life Jer and I worked so hard to put together, I’m not numb to the feelings of missing out. But I know that doing what I love makes me happy. And being happy means I’m a better wife, daughter, in-law, sister, friend, and general human being.
So, I hope my amazing friend knows how much missing her wedding day gutted me. And I’m thankful she’s so accepting and is still my friend even though we can only talk for about 3 hours a day due to time zone differences and I often forget and text her in the middle of the night. Most of all, I hope she knows that all I wish for her is the most perfect day imaginable. Oh, and for the waterproof mascara to do its job.